Top 9 Signs That John McCain Wants to Lose the Election

After the debate, I got this feeling that Senator John McCain actually wants to lose the election. I mean given the state of the economy in the US and the world, wouldn't you be having second thoughts?

He is over 70 years old, and you know he didn't expect the entire world to be a mess. Dealing with a war is up his alley, but dealing with credit default swaps? I mean the last time he heard about swapping, it was wife swapping back in his prime.

I'm sure he can't back out now, but the signs are there:

9. Does an interview with Katie Couric rather than show up for his planned appearance on David Letterman

8. Realizes that as President he would no longer have time to play his favorite game of craps

7. Pretends to have early stage of Alzheimer by calling Obama “that one”

6. Admits to his shrink he dreams of being Slim Pickens in “Dr. Strangelove” riding the bomb down on Hanoi

5. Has been caught sleep walking into Sarah Palin’s bedroom

4. His latest ad campaign blames the Senate for all of the country’s problems, and Obama is a Senator so there!

3. Wants the government to buy back home mortgages because while he still can’t recall how many homes he owns, he knows he must owe a shit load of money

2. Rather than go to the first debate, he wanted to stay in Washington and party with President Bush and his daughters

1. Openly tells staff he made a mistake picking Sarah Palin as VP. Yes, he now wants Tina Fey.