The Poker Gods 10 Commandments

The Poker Gods 10 Commandments

Image via Wikipedia

1. We are your Poker Gods. You shall have no other gods before us; or you will be punished with more than your fair share of bad beats.

2. You shall not make wrongful use of the name of your Poker Gods. Blame "Jebus" and not us.

3. Remember the World Series of Poker in Las Vegas and keep it holy.

4. Honor your father and mother, since you may be asking them for money to get into your next poker satellite.

5. You shall not murder unless you catch someone cheating you at the poker table. Die cheaters, die.

6. You shall not commit adultery unless you are really, really horny.

7. You shall not steal. Beating up the fish at your table only feels like stealing.

8. You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor. That means you Prahlad! Don't accuse someone of not putting in his ante, unless you are 100% certain.

9. You shall not covet your neighbor's wife unless she performs in internet porn.

10. You shall follow these sacreligious rules or your Aces will be cracked more often than the eggs at a Denny's Free Grand Slam Breakfast day.

Oh, hell, I think my blog just lost the religious right.

Found by Archeologists next to the Remains of the 2000 Year Old Man...A Poker Prayer!

Found by Archeologists next to the Remains of the 2000 Year Old Man...A Poker Prayer!

Cover of Skeleton (Pockets)

Dear poker gods,

Please give me pocket aces
and don't frigging let them be cracked.

I give thee powerful poker gods, thanks.
I just got dealt pocket Aces.
The flop looks safe,
the turn is uh-oh,
the river...F**K!

-Written by a poker player

P.S. If you'd like your very own poker
gods statue, so you can worship the
poker deities in the privacy of your home,
mail me your name, address and $49.95.

Tournament Poker: Often You Will Lose Even If You Play Perfect

Just a quick thought...

Even if you play "perfect" poker during a poker tournament, the fact is that often the cards just run against you.

Sometimes that means that you go card dead. But, as noted in a previous post, there are ways to try to counter that awful situation.

The more frustrating way to me is when you play great but run into situations where your edges just don't pan out. Usually, I have found that I can handle one bad outcome, but two are tough too overcome and three are usually fatal.

For example, if you are playing great, raise with pocket Aces and a player moves all-in with A-K suited. If your opponent beats you with a flush, well, your stack will probably take a 25-50% hit (it depends on stack sizes, but I am assuming you are beating your opponents up to this point and building your stack.)

If you lose another tough one, like JJ against 99 (as I did recently), a few hands later, well, your stack is going to be nearly crippled or you will be out.

If you are crippled, you will be moving in with a big range of hands and hoping for the best.

The net of this is the following: It was just not meant to be. You can play great or even "perfect" poker, but the poker gods may be against you that day. I guess that's poker.

Note: I don't know how to define "perfect" poker. Phil says that he would win every tournament if it wasn't for luck. But, the other day at the WSOP, I read that Phil Hellmuth limped under the gun with pocket Queens and got upset when his opponent beat him with two random cards (a hand he would fold against a raise). So, if Phil is perfect, wh no raise?:-)