Saturday, December 5, 2009

3 Funniest Ads of 2009

3 Funniest Ads of 2009

Since every poker player goes on tilt once in a while, here are my 3 funniest ads of 2009 that you can recall to interrupt your feelings of hostility at another bad beat.

Warning: I have a sick sense of humor.

Disclaimer: I don't know if all of these ads went on air for the first time in 2009. It's simply the first time I viewed them. And if you decide to buy any of these products, well, you really should spend more time reading poker books instead.

#!. Pfizer's Chantix: I'd Rather Die Than Smoke

This ad starts normally enough as this very nice looking woman tells her story about how she has struggled with trying to stop smoking. This drug Chantix and "support" helped her to quit. The next 90 seconds of this 150 second ad is about all the side seems to go on forever...and these are not just your every day side effects. This drug can cause you to "suicidal actions" while taking the drug or even after you stop using it.

So, let me understand Pfizer's thinking. You want to help people to stop smoking, so let's give them a drug where they can kill themselves. That works. That must have been one hell of a test study! Let's see, 100 people were tested and 100% of the people reported it worked. Oh, only 2 people of the 100 reported in, because the other 98 are being restrained in a mental ward (The "support") or are no longer with us.

Gee, I hope the woman in the ad is still alive.

Now, this ad is on youtube but Pfizer won't let anyone post it on their website.
Here is the link to the Funniest Ad of 2009.

#2. Enzte's Smiling Bob as Santa: A Big Rip Off For Your Small Package

Enzyte ads are just plain funny. But, there is a shortened version of their infomercial ads, that is just too funny. I couldn't find the ad on youtube, but it is about Bob smiling big as he is dressed as Santa and a long line of women can't wait to sit on his lap.

It seems they took the last few seconds of the ad below and yes, they made it longer.

Postscript: It seems that the owner of Enzyte is going away to jail for 25 years and has to pay a $500 million fine. Even his Mom got 2 years (I'm not going there). I guess he was a user and he failed the pre/post side-by-side test in court.

You mean this product doesn't work?! I want a!

Here's the news story about his arrest. I wonder what his life will be like behind bars.

#3. HeatSurge: The Amish Do It Better

This was a 30 minute infomercial that starts off simply enough. The ads shows customers using a faux fireplace that is a space heater with a fireplace effect. But now the secret to why you should buy it--because the Amish make it!

Next, the presenters are in an Amish barn so we can see that it's true. The Amish work on building your heaters--old men, young men and women. But wait there's more! To prove that some big company is not taking advantage of the Amish, the spot interviews one of the Amish workers. Here he is below--it is a 30 second section--of the 30 minute infomercial.

I started to think that the creators of South Park wrote this ad as a joke. I half expected Eric Cartman to walk into the ad dressed as an Amish worker.

I sure hope this product isn't real successful because if it is you know the Chinese are going to replicate it, charge a few dollars for it, and put the Amish out of work.

In summary, if you do buy all three products, I guess the police will find you in your home dead. You will be hanging from a rope, warmed by your HeatSurge fireplace, with a big smile on your face, and rigor mortis in your lap.

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